I Don't Do Unhealthy: I Didn't Let Wisdom Guide

"Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding." Proverbs 4:6-7

Forgiveness.  

We all need forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a must as a Christian.  It's a commandment that comes with loving others and following Christ.  As much as forgiving is important, so is wisdom.  I think it's fair to say that my forgiveness always has come with complete faith and trust in people.  If I forgave you, I fully trusted you again.  If I chose to remain in your life, I put my all back in.  This might be needed in some incidents but I think it's safe to say that in most instances, it's wise to take the time to slowly allow trust back in.  Forgiveness doesn't mean trust and relationship.   Forgiveness simply means grace and Jesus.  Restoration does not have to follow forgiveness and I think that often times, we hold back forgiveness because we aren't ready for relationship or trusting again.  Forgiveness restores our hearts but doesn't have to restore the relationship.  Sometimes forgiveness is a part of goodbye and walking away gracefully.

Wisdom has to come with forgiveness because wisdom comes from God.  

I'm learning this truth and it's been a painful lesson to learn but it has been worth learning.  Proverbs 4:6-7 gently warns us that wisdom can cost it all and I'm currently living in that painful but freeing truth.  I worked in full time ministry at a church I loved dearly.  I loved the people, the messages and what I felt that God was doing there.....wisdom cost me the job I loved so much.  It still stings and at times, I still cry.  The painful reality that wisdom opened up, left a sting in my heart that hasn't quite left.  God's faithfulness is beautiful though.  The one thing that still stings my heart is the day I reached out with some of my concerns while I was employed there and I was told by the pastor I reached out to, that if I quit that church, I would NEVER find another good opportunity to work at a place like that again.....but then God.  Thankfully that pastor is not my amazing and most POWERFUL HEAVENLY FATHER!  Thankfully my Father has bigger plans for me and I'm living out that plan now and I know He will continue to have bigger plans for me and my family. Thankfully God loves me, sees me and values me!  Thankfully that pastor's words aren't the final words in my life......I serve an awesome Father WHO has the FINAL say in my life.

After that incident, I forgave and moved on in my position.  I continued to serve wholeheartedly but all the while, praying for wisdom.  I knew something didn't feel right in my spirit about what was said to me and I didn't feel right about so many other things I had concerns with.  So, I continued to pray for wisdom. 

Wisdom is a beautiful thing.  It redirects our lives, shapes our value system and leads us to God's better plan for us.  

My heart still aches when I think about that part of my past.  It's a season that sadly haunts me but I'm thankful I serve a God who is using it to better shape me, guide me and grow me.  He has allowed me to grow in wisdom and wisdom has taught me to tread lightly, not jump in without researching and seeking God and ALWAYS follow scripture!  My heart still aches so deeply and I still have lots of forgiving to do but I'm thankful that I now know the value of letting wisdom guide after forgiveness.  

Stay tuned for: "I Supported Anybody & Everybody"